One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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AIDS

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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