Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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