If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

suck my balls mr.garison

what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

What comes after 23? 24.

roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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