What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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