An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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Whats worse than finding a jew in you bed. Jake skellern

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops