What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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0 + 0 = 0

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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Q: What do you call a black person with one leg? A: In modern American society, it is proper etiquette to adress somebody by their first name.

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why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

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A blind man walks into a pole.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops