3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops