A baby seal walks into a club.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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12 niqqa 12.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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