how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=eOr5o3kd5fIcpM:&imgrefurl=http://imgfave.com/search/be%2520stupid&docid=_B1z3__jBeF0wM&imgurl=http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vrh3OhfK1r158a9o1_500.jpg&w=485&h=650&ei=Jo3HT-anK4To9ASrrp2KDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=104&vpy=105&dur=1249&hovh=260&hovw=194&tx=86&ty=138&sig=104463583013410208018&page=3&tbnh=162&tbnw=121&start=23&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:23,i:149

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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Face...the other white meat!

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Kys

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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