what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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