Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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24

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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