Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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