roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

like this if you think what ever you want to..

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -23

*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An Artic Storm.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's purple and plastic purple plastic

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops