Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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He--Hey guys

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knock knock There's no door

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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bronson watt walks into a bar.

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Cliterus

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops