Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

What did the one man say to the other man? What? I don't know , I wasn't there, that's why I'm asking.

Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Republicans

What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

Donald Trump

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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