How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

Justin Bieber

Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

Horse with a chair on his head.

What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

Why was the woman?

Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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