How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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thats what she she. no really thats what she said

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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