-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If i open this door you can go trough it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +16

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops