John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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5 people are walking

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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