The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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pudding

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops