Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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hey, my names mark.

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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what happens every day? People die

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What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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Y

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops