What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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Your future.

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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