2 + 2 = fish

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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