My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

knock knock come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

thumb_up thumb_down -24

HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

thumb_up thumb_down -24

boo

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops