On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Jesus steps out of a boat, and walks across the water to shore. He's such a show of. Only an attention whore would leave a boat and walk across water for no good reason.

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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how did the man die he didnt

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops