What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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2 + 2 = fish

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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boo

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops