I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

>>---------------------------------[ knee ]------------------------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down -7

if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops