A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Wanna see some more?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

>>---------------------------------[ knee ]------------------------->>>

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Come on children, don't dawdle.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What can hitler cook well Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops