what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

anal seepage

Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

Ken wins!

How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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