Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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