What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Hi

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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