Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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YES! EXACTLY!

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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i lost the game

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What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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