How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Your Mom!!!

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops