- Anti Joke

Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

Obama.

What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

what's worst than being gay? being black

whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

quik reply fuckker, im at the room on the left at the uh... forgot anywayss third floor, to the end of the hospital, btw, I told The Goat and Fingern to wait for you at the entrance, and I paid them to kick your ass... WHOS YOUR DADDY! Well soon ill be your dad and the father of your sisters first kid! Man, relax, I told them to just drag you outside and kick you in the nuts, then some atomixc elbows and make u bleed... Your suufering is none of use of me if your ded, plz reply abut your sufferage when they are done, u really think id fight your dirty shit yourself? I AM THE LEADer THE ONE WHO KNOcKS! I DONT LIKE THE FIGHT! PEOPLE FIGHT FOR ME! IN MY NamEN MY GLORY!! Amen, you will soon become an uncle... Nah, tell your sis its a joke, I already told her I insist bangign her look at the pone Goat has in his poket, her last responz is "now?" and two smileys with eyes poppingg XD Seriously, if they are not already kicking your ass... Well, they sent me a pic, I suppose you will end up at the hospital too, looks bad kid... But you know the goat, that kid wants to kill, and probably has... ill let theem know that if thhhhey kill youu, they hmmm... then I cantt beat you um mysepf, so no killins in my name, reelas ill call em, but you are just bruise now, I want moar blood. Nero Metal, the coldest leader, of the universe. (dat tok like 6 mins to tyype so wort it, if you diee, i dont responsible for the goat, but i think finger will stop him zoon.

One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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