What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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He walked in a bar

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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