All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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Anyone??????????/

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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People Order Our Patties

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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Womens' sports

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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