What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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why did joe drown ? he had no arms

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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joke

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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