What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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