Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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