Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do I hate food? I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops