Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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robin, get in the car.

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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If pro- is the opposite of con-, what is the opposite of progress? regress

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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