knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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cory is gay

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 6 cheated on 7 with 9.. 6 is now a victim of domestic violence.

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What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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