Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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Rachel not blowing Robert.

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Nice belt.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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