Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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