What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

What's purple and glows? An electric grape

How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

go go gadget

whats long and stretchy? elastic

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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