Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Hello, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I would like to talk to you about religion for a few minutes. B: Thank you, but I'm not interested. A: OK, thank you for your time, sir. B: You're quite welcome. Good day. A: Have a nice afternoon. B: You too. Bye A: Ba-bye.

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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