What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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j

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Barack Obama

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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69

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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