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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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press Ctrl and F4 on ur key pad

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How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

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Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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You just read this ..

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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YOU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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