What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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womens rights

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Opinions are like assholes... ...they're both nouns.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

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what does rhinoceros and tomato have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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