A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Type 2 diabetics

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homework

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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