Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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What is more worse than death? Death

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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A baby seal walks into a club.... Oh....

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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